The Toilet Paper

Has anyone ever been to the toilets in central London?? Bloody Hell!! They charge you like 50p (And that's pretty cheap apparently) for a dump. What has this world come to when you have to pay to shit.. ??

Try hunting for change in your pocket after you had a chicken tikka masala the day before and all you want to do now is relieve yourself. Well, thatz the situation I found myself in 4 months ago... Having to meet a client (sounds more sophasticated) in Central London, I rush off early forgetting my early morning ritual. So there I was in front of a Portakabin toilet, begging people for change and feeling like I would erupt. Seeing my distress, a kid (God Bless Him) hands me his 50p and I go into answer nature's call.

Then this is where pure torture starts.... THE TOILET PAPER!!! The meanest, roughest, hardest toilet paper I have ever used in my whole life!!! And I paid 50p for it!!! The least they could have done was put an Andrex in....NO!! Newaz, I end up doing what I had to do and ended up walking like a penguin for the next 3 days.!!!

The reason I remembered this story, is because a mate of mine sent me the following poem as an attachment. I really know how the victim must have felt....Enjoy!!!!

Here's this poem by Mark Feldman

In the store, whilst buying butter,

I met this Indian bloke,

Who came in from Calcutta.

He asked of the shopkeeper,

When at the counter he did stop,

"Do you have toilet paper,

Here in your lovely shop?"

"Yes, I have lots of brands,

On my shelves, mate, look right here.

I have Softly's and I have Sorbent."

But he said, "Oh no, too dear!"

"I need the most inexpensive,

That you have in your store,

For I come from Calcutta,

And I am very, very poor."

"Yes, I think I can accommodate you,"

The shopkeeper then did say,

"I have No-Name brand paper,

And it's real cheap, mate, eh !"

He said, "Oh, that will be the one,

I am very pleased to see,

Give to me your No-Name paper,

And I'll take it home with me."

But alas, just three days later,

He came back in a fit,

"Here, take back your John Wayne paper,

I am bloody sick of it!"

"No, hang on mate, settle down,

It's not John Wayne, you see,

This is No-Name toilet paper,

That you've given back to me."

"Oh, no, you are very wrong,"

The Calcutta man replied,

"This is John Wayne paper,

That you sold to me" he cried.

"For I swear by my elephants,

And on the Bible of the Gideons,

It is rough, and it is tough,

And it takes no shit off Indians !!"

LOL....I am easily amused I guess...hehe!